Tag Archives: morals

Experience…

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“I remember standing on the corner at midnight, trying to get my courage up.  There was this long lovely dancer in this club downtown, I loved to watch her do her stuff.  Through the long lonely nights she filled my sleep, her body softly swaying to that smokey beat, down on Main Street…”

In 1980 I was at a Bob Seger concert at Boston Garden.  When it was announced that they were recording this concert for a new LP (yes, I’m that old), I was standing on the chair, screaming, jumping up and down!    It was a great concert.

In 1980 I was almost 20 years old.   At the concert with a guy that died a young death in a snowmobile accident.   He was 27 years old, with a wife and two kids.  We were long gone as a couple, but we both loved music.   We went to many concerts in the short time we were together.   He had big blue eyes, curly blonde hair, and was a big guy, someone who I felt protected with when we went to a “Black Sabbath and Blue Oyster Colt” concert in Boston.      My god, there were more people tripping than straight.  But I digress.

I often relate music to times in my life.  More so than not.   The memories can be very vivid, and can raise me up or drop me to my knees.  It wasn’t until later in life that I learned what real hardship and heartache was.  And don’t get me wrong, as a young person, love is a hard thing, especially lost love, but now, I think back and smile, grateful for the memories.    Some things weren’t meant to be.   And as true with most things, as I lived out portions of my life, I would understand why things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to, or had hoped they would.   I see young people and I think “My God, was I really ever that young?  That innocent?”   Hell YES!

It’s been many years since I stood on that chair screaming and singing my lungs out.   And when people say “he or she has changed”, I smile and listen, but my thoughts are “Have they?”  Have I?     Yes, life has a way of smartening you up, experiences have a way of defining moments that change the course of your life.   But are we the same?

Best as my experience tells me, when you knew someone in your youth, if they were good, kind people, then chances are they still are.   And if they were an asshole?  They may still be!      Life dishes out suntans AND wet towels!   Sometimes the wet towels are so heavy it takes everything you’ve got to keep moving.   But experience has taught me it helps to toss the wet towels, grab from it all that you have learned, both good and bad, then drop it in its path, and continue on.

Maturity is a beautiful thing.   In life we learn all kinds of things about people, ourselves.   I learned at the age above in my life this relationship was not meant to be.  While there was pain, it passed.   And I’m very grateful that I wasn’t his widow at 27.

The kind of people that draw my attention are the people who have walked through hell and kept walking.    Because NO ONE’s life is perfect, and some of us have learned the value in being honest about it.   That doesn’t mean you stay sitting in the sand, with the wet towel around your neck.  It means you learn to be kinder to yourself, to accept change, and you learn the type of people who are deserving of your time, your heart.

Real people, with real issues.    I like people who have survived major shit.  Why?  Because they know who they are, they know what they don’t want, and what they do, and they value the smaller things in life, like the values of a person, not their mistakes.  And when we can finally accept that about ourselves, those of us who are blessed to live long enough to figure that out, there is comfort and peace in knowing, everything is as it should be, even if we don’t like it.

Very grateful for my life, and where I am today.  Is it perfect?  Not even close, but it’s mine, and I plan to make the most of it!

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On Principle….

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Maturity has taught me that simplicity is the answer to a happy life.  So I try to let go of the small things.  After you’ve experienced traumatic or life/death experiences you learn quickly that 99% of all the things in life are in fact small things.   Hereditary genes and behavior had me believing that to worry about something would and could actually change the outcome of whatever it is I’m worried about!  Craziness!  Learning to let go, stay calm, understand that doing nothing and not worrying is doing SOMETHING and also personally learning the power of prayer I do quite well with this these days, though like every other human on the face of the earth, I have my days when I fall short of well.

There are so many avenues I could take to write about with this very topic… Letting Go, Faith, Acceptance, Simplicity, on and on the topics are flowing through my mind, but as a friend suggested to me a few months ago, try to keep your blogs short, otherwise no one will want to read them!

The point I want to make today is there are times to let go of the outcome, not to worry, and there are times to stand up on principle.  While this may cause some disturbance to your serenity and peacefulness, I believe that given who we are, our morals, standards and integrity, and the lack thereof that appears to be happening more and more in the world, sometimes personally, I feel the need to say “Enough is enough!”.

Now for those of you who are on my facebook and read my little excerpt about the Days Inn in Attleboro, MA it would be natural to jump to the conclusion that this is what I’m referring to, and to a small degree this is true.   I am, however, talking about on a whole a conglomeration of things that have happened lately that have me disappointed, frustrated, and feeling the need to take a stand in a few areas to be true to myself and my beliefs.  Sometimes there are things that are just wrong!

We of course, have control over how much we involve ourselves and allow these times to seep into our life.   It also would depend on the magnitude of how it weighs against your beliefs, thus sometimes giving birth to the most amazing passion of some people who devote their life to the cause.    When passion sparks, are you listening to it?  

The twisting and turning of our guts is typically our instinct telling us something.  Are we listening to it?   Upon further exploration you may just be amazed at what unfolds, and what beliefs and passions have been cocooned inside of you, waiting to be set free.    Trust in yourself, your instincts, and stand up for what you believe in, but choose your battles wisely as it is so easy to lose track of the finer simpler things in life that matter so much.  For me it is my family, my friends, my creativity…. and lately Starbucks frappucinos!