Today has proven to be a challenging day for me. The first thing I did besides feed the lippy cat that was ready to eat two hours prior, was go out and shovel out my car. I must say, someone was looking out for me when it drove right out of it’s spot, unlike the last time where I was stuck. But stubborn brunettes don’t give up! We had a shitload of snow fall yesterday.
What was challenging for me today was my head, where it goes. I once heard from a psychiatrist that the more intelligent you are, the more remote places you can find to hide in. Not saying I’m the smartest person in the world, not even close, but I have at times thought, if I wasn’t so smart, I would be happier. Sit on that one for a moment!
I cannot share my thoughts here, I cannot share them with anyone. I’m doing what I know to do, and that is to get moving, get busy, keep trucking. It took me hours of stuck to get there. I guess I should celebrate in getting there.
I’m heading to bed early tonight, taking a friend to a much needed doctor’s appointment up North. I’m hoping the roads and snow removal are in good shape. I get to drive the cutest car in the world because mine doesn’t have heat. (Kia little boxy car, I just love it!) Ya just can’t expect an 81 year old to ride that far without heat!
I walked around my house today foreign to myself. Not exactly foreign, but certainly not where I wanted to be. I know depression and anxiety intimately. But where it takes me, those are places that it’s hard to find comfort in. I remember hearing at a recovery group a couple decades ago “Find comfort in the uncomfortable”. One of life’s tricks to success, or certainly to get beyond, or overcome.
I did some sketches today on a piece I want to start soon. But as I walked into my studio this evening, sat down to work on ears of the pet portrait I’m doing, I see many 85%-90% paintings started, but not completed. That isn’t a sin, but it’s something I have to be vigilant of. Signs? Silliness?
Well, have things I have to do before bed. I’m hoping I sleep. Last night I did not. Not well, anyway.
Hoping your having a great day, full of insight and direction! It’s what I’m seeking at the moment.