Tag Archives: meditation

Negative space


I’m getting some much needed alone time.     With music (therapy) in the background, windows open, I am painting today off an easel, a piece I had designed many years ago.  I’m not painting it the same way, nor with the same paint.   Today’s version is more realistic, and the palette much brighter than that of before.    I attribute that to high pigment paint AND my own growth as a woman, as an artist.

So I’m not using the old reference photos for anything but placement.  Basically trying to keep my life simple, because I recall the agony I had when first sitting down to design this piece.  It initially had a couple of watering cans in it, and it was too busy.   Back when I analyzed the shit out of everything, I would sometimes “fill” my paintings to the brim, instead of breathing, detaching, and appreciating or recognizing the need for negative space.  MUCH like the alone time I am having today.  I don’t mean to infer that I’m negative, not in the least today, but my alone time is crucial and vital to my peace of mind, creativity, and general health.  Therefore, I’m comparing negative space in a painting to alone time in my life because it’s needed and I’m usually pleased with the end result.

Such is true of food, as well.  I’ve been off sugar since April.   The first week was HELL.  I had headaches, quick trips to the bathroom, dizziness, and generally feeling like all I wanted to do was pick up a pop and drink it.    Anything to quiet the toxins that were being excreted from my body.    A week later I started feeling better, and stronger, and now some 14 weeks later I’m feeling SO much better, dropped a few pounds, and my goal is to remain happy and kind to myself.   The inner critic that resides in the darker parts of my mind is silenced at this moment.   When I catch it coming to forefront of my mind, I do what I was taught to do while learning to meditate.    Acknowledge it, and then go back to focus.   It helps.  And I’ve learned that it really is the smaller things that help me, not the large and drastic changes the critic sometimes pushes me to believe I need.

Music is a huge source of happiness for me.   Today, as my playlists echo throughout my studio, I acknowledge where the song takes me, the people that were in my life at that time, situations, circumstances.   And then when the song is done, I do it all over again with the next song.    I have several playlists that I’ve made, one all about my life, songs that come from the most significant times of my life.  And I’m here to tell you, “significant” wasn’t necessarily  big events like marriage, but reaching understanding, un-complicating my life from worry, finding peace, acceptance of things that LARGELY contributed to the bright side of, and improved quality of my life.

I’ve no answers for others, this in itself is a valuable piece of information.  I can’t live my life or make decisions for someone else, just myself.   And some days I have all I can do to do this for myself.    So the point I’m trying to make is, ridding myself of the clutter, both mentally and physically, in all aspects of my life have gifted me with this day of feeling happy.   I’m much looser with my painting, I’m focusing on the moment, and in the moment, and enjoying all this “negative space”.

Hope yours is going well, too!



Color me purple, tickle me pink


Have you ever walked into a room and suddenly felt the urge to eat? sleep? hit someone (well who is undeserving, anyway? lol)   Has or does your mood change when you are in a certain room at work? home?   What is your favorite color?  Do you have one?  Do you know WHY it is your favorite color?   What emotions does this color evoke in you?  Colors are not only beautiful but they can be incredibly powerful. 

I was surfing on google images and found this fascinating website.   jackhaas.net    These three pictures are the visionary digital artwork of Jack Haas.  Amazing !  Even if modern art is not your “thing”, check out this mans website if for no other reason than to study the colors in his art… identify what emotions the colors are bringing up for you.  This guy is truly interesting.  Clearly a man who has led a purposeful and insightful life. 

At the time of my sisters death all of the rooms in my humble little abode  (with the exception of my bedroom) were painted farmhouse beige with white trim.  Classy, spacial, clean.  Within weeks of her passing I was climbing the walls.  I was experiencing all the stages of grief, emotions that were off the charts.  There was this internal sadness that I just could not get past.  Creativity?  That was gone, and yet my livelihood depended on it.  One night I was sitting in my den looking into my livingroom feeling like I was suffocating… those beige walls offered only a blank canvas to uncertainty, pain and hopelessness.   I needed to do something to help myself, anything, and then it hit me…. I NEEDED COLOR!  Chicago’s “Color my World” YES this dates me, but it is just what I needed.

I painted my walls many different colors for a couple years until I settled on a palette that I was comfortable with, one that worked for me.  Every room in my house has color, and I’m not talking pastel or a light tint of color, I am talking about midtones, darks, powerful colors.   I study color, I crave color, I LOVE color!

Colors have been assigned various meanings in cultures.  A white aura color has been defined as:  Reflects energy. A pure state of light. Often represents a new, not yet designated energy in the aura. Spiritual, etheric and non-physical qualities, transcendent, higher dimensions. Purity and truth; angelic qualities.  This makes sense then that in China the color of white pertains to death.  However, lets think about wedding gowns.  When I think of a white wedding gown I do not associate it with death, though I have worn a white wedding gown and shortly thereafter my marriage died!  Remember mood rings?  (I’m sure they are still available).  White means bored, frustrated.   Well yah, come to think of it, that ties in well with my white wedding! (winks)  I have a bracelet that has 30 beads, varied colors that signify different cancers.  The world is a spectrum of colors!  I am visualizing Vegas with all the flashing lights reflecting off cars, buildings, and a plethora of Elvis’s.  (Though Elvis’s prime was before my time there is a video of  “Suspicious Minds” where he is wearing a white jumpsuit type outfit and he looks HOT!!!!… sorry, digressing).   Sparkle, shine, tactful or tasteless, colors can lift our spirits to the penthouse or us down to the morgue in a matter of seconds.  Advertising, restaurants, clothing, automobiles, packaging… color is everywhere and in most cases there are (hidden?) agendas behind the choosing of them.   If I played hooky from work one day when I returned to work I would wear a color that truly wasn’t my “season”.  If I wear yellow I look washed out, sickly.  PERFECT!  Visual information everywhere and colors create the largest portion of it!

The human normal temperature is 98.6.  Colors have temperatures too.  Warms, Cools (hmmm that is kinda like humans too…. I know many warm people, and I have met some downright cold people! lol)  Different tones can certainly take us on a spiritual journey with Obi-Wan Kenobi or find us grasping for air with Darth Vader!  Placement and use of color is important as well.  Orange for example makes me feel happy, and it is said that it evokes enthusiasm and stimulates creativity… but if I were to wear a bright or vibrant orange dress I just may end up looking like “the great pumpkin” from Charlie Brown with legs and dansko shoes!   Hence, lines, forms, shapes…

Color is a wonderful wonderful gift.  Think about the first time you saw a rainbow, or for me EVERYTIME I see a rainbow!  (smiles)    Color can enrich our lives, promote good health, and when worn, can make us look hot or frumpy!  So if you’re feeling “blue”… “Put color on those walls! as Christopher Lowell says.  Interesting enough feeling “blue” means sad, down, melancholy, while sitting in a room painted blue may just put you in a relaxed, serene state, or place  you into deep meditative thoughts! 

Personally, I would love the job of NAMING the different paint colors, or fabric swatch colors…  Oh yes, this certainly screams out Bahama Blue Mama!   Do you think those jobs pay well?  lol  Seriously, I’m curious!

By the way, my favorite color is purple.    Purple  happens to be the color for people seeking spiritual fulfillment, it is a color mostly chosen by artists, and I read somewhere that 80% of children when given a choice will choose something purple .  (One time I bought a purple sweatsuit at Walmart at the bargain price of $3, I was thrilled with it until I saw what I looked like in the mirror…  hence Barney..it then became rags!)  In some cultures it stood for royalty (only because purple dye was so expensive only the elite and wealthy could afford it), opulance, nobility….

“And when I am old, I shall wear purple!”