Tag Archives: home

Peeking in

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The moon lit up a path for my dog (Lilly) and I to walk tonight, our last walk before we retire from a challenging day, at best.

I stopped to peek in and look into my front windows.  What do I see?  What if I did not know me, what would I see?   Would I see the person I want to see?   Would I see a home that I would want to live in?  To welcome family and friends in?

Am I looking into the home of an honest person?  A kind person?  A caring person?   Or would I see an old, angered, manipulative soul?

Would I see the past scars of hardships?  Did the hardships shape or mold me in any way?  For the good?  Or the bad?   Would I see a person whose experiences brought her wisdom, does she share that with others?   Or would I see a woman whose outward and inward look feels beaten from life?    Or would I see the boldness and hardness or an embittered woman?    Would I see a happy, peaceful, gentle home filled with love, welcoming friends and family, or would I see a perfectly placed home, with name brands and picturesque shots from a magazine on Style?

Though the outside of this house is in need of scraping and love, is the inside, the core, the womb warm?  Does it hold true to the things and people I love?   Does it hold true to me?   To the people I have loved and lost?   Or am I living in a shrine to the departed?

Do I see artwork that is beautiful, and brings a smile to my face?  Or do I hear the poisoned tongue of self criticism, judgement, sadness?

Are there pets?  Are they happy?  Are they sad?   Are they fed?

Does it look like a home with a grateful soul?
Or want lists posted everywhere? Does it feel like the person who lives here has ‘enough’ or too much?

As I walked away, I smiled.     This home is far from perfect, and most of the belongings that fill it have been previously loved.   I see a warm glow that comes through the curtains, and a cat that’s probably purring while she lays sleeping on a chair cushion.  I see artwork that was painted with bright, beautiful, happy palettes, pictures of loved ones loved in their prime, smiling, happy, and just enough dog and cat hair on the floor to say, yup, those animals have a nice life, and so does the woman who lives here.   She has made a lovely home for herself, pleasing to the eye, and yet comfortable, welcoming.  Swags that were given to her by someone she loves, belongings that have little monetary value and much sentimental.    Colors that offer soothing feelings, and a studio that is occupied and utilized daily.

In short, I see my “true colors” shining through.   And that?  Makes me a happy woman tonight.    Happy and very grateful for who I am, where I’ve been, and where I’m going.

So now I’m closing the shades and shutting out the world, it’s time for my girls and I to cuddle and snuggle, and enjoy the plush comforter that will soon touching my skin, echoing my body.    I am a very fortunate woman, indeed.

 

 

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Adios 16!

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This has been a good year for me.   I’m hoping 17 will be even better.

Bailey’s on the rocks, feeling the buzz, and feeling very grateful for my life, my family, friends, home, abilities, hope and dreams.

Next year I have new things planned, a new biz for one.   Haven’t yet decided on it, and no doubt will include the last 20 years of decorative painting, but it’s changing, and I’m excited about this.

Wishing you and yours a wonderful, happy, healthy New Year.  Let’s make 2017 a year of smiles, dreams come true, and may all of us achieve peace.  In faith….

 

Love to you!!!!!!!

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My tree of life………..

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In the coziness of my small little abode, the fireplace providing penetrating heat to my tired body, I am grateful tonight.  Grateful that I own my own home, even with as much work as it needs.   I grew up believing that the only way I would own a home is to marry.  Well, guess what?  Not the case.

One of the proudest days of my life was when I went to the bank and closed on my house.  I bought it out from my ex-husband.   It’s where I have done my most growing, actually maturing.  I have been here 25 years, moved here in my 20’s.  Upon moving here we sold the large acreage of land we owned, finding it too expensive to build on (had to put in power, a very long drive, etc.).   From that piece of land I dug up a small maple tree.  Well, it wasn’t even a tree then it was 4 or 5″ tall, very fragile.   When we moved in here it was planted in the back yard.   This tree now stands 40 (?) feet tall, I call this my “Tree of Life”.    Many a night I would go sit out under that tree, pondering whatever, wherever I was at the time.   I have lit candles underneath that tree, I have buried the ashes of my beloved furry children, and above that resides perennials, a memorial for those I loved (and still love) who have since passed.  

It has stood strong and grown with me, offering shelter not only from the sun but also rain, sleet, snow.   I love this tree.   There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t look at it and smile, either out my kitchen or porch window(s), or as I drive into my yard.   A few years ago the heaviness of a snow storm broke off a fairly large branch.   As I picked up the pieces, bringing them to my burn pile I remember thinking “How ironic”, or was it?  I, too felt like I had one of my limbs broken off,   I healed alongside this tree.  Afraid that it was going to die on me, it proved to hold its own and heal, and continues to stand tall, healthy and proud.   

Today I went and visited a dear friend.  It is a couple hour drive and a beautiful drive at that.  We have been having unbelievably beautiful weather, while foliage is passing it is nonetheless beautiful.   I love New England, I love Vermont, I love where I live.   I hope I can always afford a home here.   My hometown isn’t home for me, though it is settled only 25 miles away.  This small town which probably has more cows than residents, this small house which has provided shelter and many times like the safety of a womb, this is my home. 

I love being home! 🙂