Tag Archives: Foliage

Music, painting, and life!

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I’m listening to “Into the Mystic” (Van Morrison).   Love this song, and am reminded of many moons ago bombing around town in the jeep with all the doors off, and my dog happily in the back seat eye balling everyone and everything.   This music reaches into my soul and says “Life is good, maybe not perfect, but I am alive, and that’s better than the alternative”…. but many religious people would beg to differ.   Is it?

Music is such an important part of my life.   When I get pounded down by life’s hardships, when I’m at my lowest, I can always go back and think of the last time I listened to music….   It’s related.   Music is one of the best remedies for my mental illness woes.

I’m painting.  Not well, but I’m painting.    I’ve been struggling lately (forever a head case) but as soon as I sit down, music blaring in background, and pick up a brush, I am settled, centered, peaceful.  I am VERY VERY grateful for this.   I try to turn off the inner critic that lives LARGE in my head, sometimes I’m successful, sometimes not.  It’s nice to have an escape.   It feels good.  Now if I could only figure out how to masking tape SHUT the inner critics mouth!

Autumn is fast approaching.   We have almost no color, but I guess it’s early yet.  The air is changing, and the geese are flying South.  This is my favorite time of year.  New England in the Fall is picturesque.   I love to bomb on back roads during foliage, as it looks like you’re driving into a kaleidoscope.   It really does!  No, I’m not on shrooms.   Not for a long while, smirks.

My girlfriend was visiting from Omaha for a few days.  It’s really nice to see her, and always good to talk.   It’s also really nice to have the company.  Dropped her off at the airport today and on the way home stopped in Michael’s to pick up canvas.  3 for the price of one!   Woohooo!

Hope you’re enjoying good health, moods and making room and time for some passion!

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My tree of life………..

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In the coziness of my small little abode, the fireplace providing penetrating heat to my tired body, I am grateful tonight.  Grateful that I own my own home, even with as much work as it needs.   I grew up believing that the only way I would own a home is to marry.  Well, guess what?  Not the case.

One of the proudest days of my life was when I went to the bank and closed on my house.  I bought it out from my ex-husband.   It’s where I have done my most growing, actually maturing.  I have been here 25 years, moved here in my 20’s.  Upon moving here we sold the large acreage of land we owned, finding it too expensive to build on (had to put in power, a very long drive, etc.).   From that piece of land I dug up a small maple tree.  Well, it wasn’t even a tree then it was 4 or 5″ tall, very fragile.   When we moved in here it was planted in the back yard.   This tree now stands 40 (?) feet tall, I call this my “Tree of Life”.    Many a night I would go sit out under that tree, pondering whatever, wherever I was at the time.   I have lit candles underneath that tree, I have buried the ashes of my beloved furry children, and above that resides perennials, a memorial for those I loved (and still love) who have since passed.  

It has stood strong and grown with me, offering shelter not only from the sun but also rain, sleet, snow.   I love this tree.   There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t look at it and smile, either out my kitchen or porch window(s), or as I drive into my yard.   A few years ago the heaviness of a snow storm broke off a fairly large branch.   As I picked up the pieces, bringing them to my burn pile I remember thinking “How ironic”, or was it?  I, too felt like I had one of my limbs broken off,   I healed alongside this tree.  Afraid that it was going to die on me, it proved to hold its own and heal, and continues to stand tall, healthy and proud.   

Today I went and visited a dear friend.  It is a couple hour drive and a beautiful drive at that.  We have been having unbelievably beautiful weather, while foliage is passing it is nonetheless beautiful.   I love New England, I love Vermont, I love where I live.   I hope I can always afford a home here.   My hometown isn’t home for me, though it is settled only 25 miles away.  This small town which probably has more cows than residents, this small house which has provided shelter and many times like the safety of a womb, this is my home. 

I love being home! 🙂

Help, it’s Fall and I can’t give it up!

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<p>The air is warm, the wind is eloquently blowing leaves off the beautifully painted trees.&nbsp; I caught myself today doing the very thing I complain about with others.&nbsp; Old Vermonters would call them “flatlanders”… though I don’t.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; On my way home from town I found myself stopping dead in my tracks several times if not to catch a glimpse but also a picture of the beautiful views surrounding me.&nbsp; I love New England (please remind me of that this Winter when I am bitching about it).</p><p>&nbsp;</p>

As I watched the leaves drop from the trees in a manner that was reminiscent of the feather in “Forest Gump”, I found myself smiling, enjoying the perfectly laid out landscape in front of me. This, I said to myself, is living mindfully. Envisioning the fallen leaves as people and things passed, they still lay on the ground as evidence that they were once part of foliage’s prime.  The vibrant, moving colors swaying above and over me with the wind, the reds, yellows, greens of the leaves still clinging to the branches, these are what kept my attention, I looked to this as the “here and now”, the present.  Overhead were grey skies, cloud which I didn’t focus on, just acknowledged.   Even if I wanted to, it would be hard given the colors present surrounding me.  The grey skies signify winter, winter is in in our near future.  Not to be focused on, dwelled on, feared, but again, acknowledged.   Living in the moment, not the past, has been one of my biggest challenges in life.    How do I find balance between the present, the past and the future?

With all my attention on the colorful trees, I took deep breaths, reminded myself of the fragility of the present.   In a few days the trees will be bare, the ground will be covered with foliage gone by, and a new present picture will surround us.   This reminded me that everything, too, shall pass, so enjoy this lovely moment, live in the moment, in the present.

I wonder how many people have not driven on an old back road.  A road so narrow if someone was driving in the opposite direction one of you has to pull over to let the other by.  Ah, country living, I am a country girl for sure.

Inspired by all that has encircled me on this incredible day, I shall now go pick up my paintbrush in hopes that the pulchritudinous of this experience flows from my heart, through my hand, onto canvas….  (Guess what the word of the day was? :))

Todays metaphor: The ground is my foundation, my past; Eyesight, what is in front of me, today; The sky, my future, blurry, obscure, unknown.