Today I took my mom to her parents graves. She wants to plant some flowers on them and couldn’t decide what to buy so we went there first. My mothers youngest brother died a few weeks ago. We just got access to clean out his apartment. We’ve worked hard the past couple of days, last night we received some very difficult news which left us both feeling very disappointed. This morning I woke up, she was in tears. My mother seldom cries. She read some of the police reports when he had disappeared for 2 years and she couldn’t find him. His then short term wife brought him somewhere and he had brain surgery, then put him in a nursing home and filed for divorce. It took two years for the sheriff to find him. The past couple of days she has relived her childhood, the auto accident my uncle was in that caused damage to his brain. He could still walk, talk, but his thinking had been altered. On my grandmother’s death bed my mother made a promise to her mother that she would take care of Hank, and she did. I just listened to her this morning for a couple hours as she shared stories from her childhood. This was why I suggested we go to the cemetery. It ended up being a good thing to do. She reminisced and shared childhood stories from the small town she grew up in, and where my grandparents, uncle are buried. I think it was healing for her. Then we went flower shopping!
We had a credit coming to us at Tractor Supply, so we bought some birdseed and annuals. Then she wanted to stop at a local nursery on the way home. We had an enjoyable time “just looking” and a basket full of plants! My mom loves to be outdoors, garden, she loves to watch the birds, so we filled up the feeders, some for finches and others for bluebirds. We trimmed branches on my “tree of life” so the blue birds can get a clear view of it and the blue bird house several feet behind. We’ve always had blue birds, this year we do not. I only saw one. So we’re trying to entice them back.
As I drove her around and listened to her stories I felt grateful that I have this time with my mom. I’m grateful I still have both parents, and I’m grateful that I can be there for her when she needs support. She is spending the weekend at my house so we’re going to do a lot of small projects including planting the beautiful assortment of posies we bought… How nice making these good memories. I need to keep busy right now, am struggling with some things myself, so I think this will be good, for both of us. I like doing for my mother. My efforts and actions are not to seek her approval, but to be the best daughter I can be. This makes ME feel good. I love taking care of my animals. This, too, makes me feel good.
We’re planning on what we can use for props in the flower garden and beds. I found this old shovel at a friend’s dump pile and it’s going to be a perfect prop. I bought a very old wooden wheel barrel at a flea market years ago. We plant flowers in it every year. I’m excited about the weekend.
I shall now retire to bed, watch a couple Golden Girls or Frasier reruns and will hopefully sleep well as I have an early day tomorrow.
Have a great weekend. Be safe!