Here I am sitting on the 9th floor of Yawkey Building at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston Mass. My oncologist is running an hour behind s schedule. I am praying for the person whose emergency affected her schedule. Whomever it is I know that they are in good hands. May God be with all on this bittersweet journey.
My trip down was uneventful if you can get past the construction and detours. Boston is unique. The history, the buildings, the architecture all amazing. Long gone are the days that started over 5 years ago when my fear of driving there became a hands on reality. Here is the trick…loud music so you cannot hear anyone honking at you, Sunglasses so the have no eye contact with you Nd. GPS to build confidence. I sometimes wonder what my kid sister would think, as when she was alive she was my rock and in challenging traffic my driver. Growth, growth is a wonderful thing. It doesn’t come easy but nothing worth having never is. I am grateful for my journeys, all chapters of my life including the challenging ones. I have often shared that I wouldn’t wish this disease on anyone but I also wouldn’t change my person growth for the world. Today I will learn that I am cancer free. Today when I meet with my oncologist, share A few personal things and the next appointment with her in December I will turn another treacherous corner. I will be graduating from tamoxifen to a drug that I will be on another five years but my understanding is the side effects are much less and less severe.
I was in the elevator with a gentlemen I did not know. He smiled and asked if I was having a great day. I replied YES! Today my on oncologist is going to tell me I’m cancer free! He smiled larger and reached out to hug me to which I obliged. Do you believe in God? He asked. Yep..wouldn’t take a step without him
I’m dressed vey casual today, in fact probably look like a slob. Wearing a sweatshirt and lounge pants with a pink ribbon decal and CURAGEOUS in the upper leg. I’m not here for a fashion show. I’m here to take care of myself, to empower myself in the best hospital in New England. I am here acknowledging that the beast existed and doing all I can to keep it from my body, my focus again. Sometimes just acknowledging something and letting it go is the best we can do for ourselves and others.
A woman pushing a cart filled with refreshments stopped in front of me. Accepting apple juice we had a nice chat for a few minutes. The thngs this woman must see and greet in this large cancer facility, and still she smiles, offers sincere compassion for those she serves. What a difference a smile can make!
Forgive my typos. I am writing this on my iPhone. The keyboard is challenging and the auto correct frustrating. Should this say I’m having a sex change or other..laugh and smile at it. Good ole autocorrect! I should review this before submitting but I would rather chat with a young woman who just sat beside me. She looks scared, reminding me of my first time here. Time to give back what was given to me.
Have yourself a GREAT day!