I fell on the ice a few days ago. I don’t think I broke any bones, I can brag about my bone density but I know better. I’ve never really thought about falls. I mean, I’m a klutz, and fall more than I want to admit. The black and blues are all colorful, in various stages of color. The one on my leg is this ugly yellow. Then darker ones above that. My leg looks like a spoiling banana! I was lucky and am grateful that two hoods cushioned my head, so other than a sore neck, my noggan is fine. Think I’m going to have an xray on my left wrist though. It’s swollen and isn’t getting any better. I wrapped it up in my elecrtic blanket the last few nights, which helped the aches and pains. I went down quickly and right under my car door and car. A friend had told me about his friend who fell hard the same day and it caused a detached retina in his eye! UGH. We have a lot of ice this winter. Grateful I wasn’t seriously hurt.
So today my dad, his girlfriend and I finished installing the sump pump. And did some repairs on holes in the foundation. I have a lot of work to do to clean up the cellar, and also my wool rugs and floors upstairs. As careful as we were, there is no way around tracking mud. So the floors and rugs will need to be cleaned too…but not today! Today I’m going to spend some quality alone time, work on a few needlecraft projects I have going, and perhaps an art project. What will be, will be! And my ankle will be elevated and the opposite side wrist will be positioned comfortably, so that I can find some peace today, physically and emotionally.
I’ve had a lot going on the past few weeks, and taking time for myself is the key to get back to tranquility. It’s been one thing after another. Looking forward to it’s leaving my space and visiting someone else! The day after the fall I broke a tooth in half. So tomorrow I’m heading over the mountain to go to the dentist and will probably have the tooth extracted. I’m really not looking forward to it. Let’s see what the dentist thinks. You know how things happen all at once? Or seem to? It isn’t so much the seriousness of the event(s) as it is totality of all, and frustration. It will pass. Seriously thinking of sage-ing my home tomorrow. I’ve been saying suggested prayers to try and rid all the crap that’s been happening. I do well on a one by one challenge, but when given multiples within short time period, not so much.
Yesterday I shared on my dad. Today when he was here I took pictures of his hands, he didn’t know I was doing this. And today I was able to thank him, them, and tell them him that I loved him and appreciated all he has and does do for me. We had a few minutes alone in my living room, resting, and he told me he knew he was on his way out. I asked why he felt that way, or had a dr told him? He said his memory is getting very bad, and he’s losing strength and abilities on a daily basis. I just listened. He spoke of his youngest daughter, my kid sister who we lost to cancer 15 years ago now. And also of his oldest daughter, my oldest sister who we lost to cancer six years ago. He told me how upsetting it still is when he thinks of particularly, Darlene’s life cut so short, she was young, not as young as some, but not as old as you’d want someone to be when they learn their life is almost over . My dad and my sister were the best of buds. They did things together, fished, camped, they had a very special and unique bond. It was one of the hardest things I’ve experienced in life, losing my sisters, and watching my parents lose their daughters. I was watching “Blue Bloods” the other day and there was a scene when a woman asked Erin Reagan whether it gets easier, after losing someone close to you. She said softly, honestly “No”. I nodded to her reply as if she was sitting in the same room with me. Time may teach you how to coexist with the loss, but it doesn’t take the pain away, nor do I think you ever really get over it. You just have no choice but to trudge on, forward. If there was one thing I could change in my or my dads life, it would be that Darlene lived a long life and that we never had to know what it was like going on without her here. But if wishes were horses, we would all ride, yes?
So as I sit in my chair resting my lame body, watching the boob tube and working on projects, I am surrounded with pictures of those I love, and two whom I’ve lost. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of them, or miss them. I am always grateful for the time I had them in my life. I’m truly a better person for having known and loved them, and been gifted with their love. What I find amazing, really, is how the love for them continues to grow. It’s really an amazing thing.
Hope you are finding enjoyment in peace in whatever you are doing today, and if not, hang on, “this too shall pass”, and if you’re where there is cold weather and ice…. be careful!!!!