Do you really want it?


How do you find success? What is it that you want in your life? From your life? What are your goals, where do you want to be? Do you hear yourself saying “When I have this much $$ in the bank, when I am this dress size, when my kids are out on their own…How about when the cow jumps over the moon…. Then and only then will I be happy?

Believe me, I know this thought process too well, and daring to dream, to jump outside my comfort zone or (what is not necessarily good but KNOWN) can be a challenge. But is it worth it? Close your eyes, well not yet! Read what I want you to do first! I want you to close your eyes and visualize your life with all that you want to be, have. How do you feel? Are you happy? Are you smiling? If you are not, then do this exercise again… Close your eyes, envision all that you want to be, do, and have. Keep those eyes closed until you feel that bit of excitement in your chest, feel even the slightest smile…

Are you there yet? Can you feel it? Can you vision it? For so long my “dreams” were lost. Once in a while I would see or hear something that would bring my dreams back in view for a bit, but then life happened, shit happened. No one is exempt from it! It’s easy to fall down after life has kicked you in the shins. And if you’ve never been kicked in the shins by life, just forego this blog. It’s not for you! Loss has been prevalent in my and many of our lives. Loss comes in many forms. I don’t want to focus on them, but I do want to, and I want you to, acknowledge the things that left bruises, cracks, perhaps even broken your shin bone(s), your heart.

Let’s try this. Close your eyes, put your hand over your heart. Visualize letting every hurt, pain, disappointment, shadow of doubt circulating from your heart into your hand. Deep breaths. Keep going, reach in there. Remind yourself that fear (thus fear of feeling) is typically much larger in our minds than what it is in reality. Yes, we have had painful things happen in our life, everyone has. Yes, some have had what seems to be an extraordinarily more than others. Let it POUR, DUMP into the palm of your hand. Sit quietly, let the next thought come, acknowledge it, but don’t buy it, jump on board with it. As the thought arises, nod physically as acknowledgement than move it to the palm of your hand. Do this until your thoughts cease. Visualize displacing all the hurt and pain into the palm of your hand. Then, physically toss that weighted entity in your hand, like a baseball. Throw hard, feel the release as your arm lengthens straight. Keep your arm extended and your hand open. Any residual thoughts and pain that managed to escape, visualize them exiting your physical being through the tips of your fingers. Feel it flow out until your thoughts once again, cease. Think it will be Christmas before your thoughts stop? Nah. But I know that when I am overwhelmed, when I am off kilter, when I am feeling beaten, lost or alone I can easily get into the thought process that “it’s useless, there is too much pain, I can’t do this”, and many other sabotaging mantras that keep me stuck. Stand up, shake your body, shake it free of all evidence, incidence, consequence. Then sit back down.

NOW I want you to close your eyes again, take several deep breaths. As you are breathing in, visualize breathing in kindness, happiness, love. As you breathe out expel any fears, doubts… And now I want you to think about what you want to be, do or have. Dare to dream again. Throw caution aside and visualize yourself having everything you want. Can you see it? Can you feel it? Did you feel even the slightest pang of excitement in your chest? Now how do you feel? Are you happy? Are you excited?

The kindness, happiness and love that we breathe in are for ourselves. I have many who love me, I am fortunate, it is loving MYSELF that needs honing. I have to love myself unconditionally, perhaps the way I love others? I am now treating myself the way I treat others and want to be treated. I am visualizing all that I want to be, all that I want to do, and all that I want in my life. Now open your eyes again. Get back to life, work, dishes, whatever it was that you were and needed to do. Only THIS time… Go with those good thoughts, dreams. With every step you take ask yourself “Is this choice, is this action taking me in the direction of my dreams? Is this choice, direction, getting me closer to what I want?”

We live in a time of instant gratification. We want it all, and we want it right now. Hence, have you ever acknowledged that the very things we get quickly we don’t appreciate as much as those we’ve worked hard and strived for? If I were to hand you a million dollars, I’d bet you would have fun with it, yeah? But if I were to give you the vehicle to earn a million dollars, or whatever amount, less or more that you want would you feel the satisfaction of knowing you did it yourself? You earned it?

I get it. I see this. As I walk in the direction of the life I want, the person I want to be, I will undoubtedly get what I need to accomplish this. Yeah, you can balk if you want, but if you want something bad enough, if you have the vision, the passion and do the work on a daily basis to get there…it’s POSSIBLE! Belief!

Are the choices you are making today, this very moment, are they (good or bad) bringing you closer to what you want? I am learning that it isn’t the leaps and bounds I take that are getting me where I want to be. Because if I am doing this, I am skipping some very important elements that will play a positive role in my self worth and confidence. Each step counts. Every failure, disappointment, every joy makes me a better person if I’m willing to feel it, acknowledge it, and then have the strength to take one more step towards my goals. So often I have read, it isn’t the destination, it’s about the journey. Well, I’m here to tell you, I haven’t necessarily liked my journey, but I am walking towards what I want my life to be. I take with me all that I have learned, and am learning on this journey called life.

I believe happiness is a choice. I believe it is possible for all. I believe pain is an important part of life that builds our character, helps shape us into better people, that is… if I am willing to get up and keep walking. I believe it was Winston Churchill who said “When you are in hell, keep walking!”…. Heck RUN! Because when you reach your goal? You’ll have all the time you need to rest!

I love the direction I have routed for myself. Of course, this is dependent on devotion and God’s will! I have the vision, and today? Today is a fun day. That may not be true tomorrow. There will be hard days, there will be easy days… but what is important for me to remind myself when times get hard to keep walking, keep walking towards my vision. I don’t know what may be right around the corner, but I do know, it’s there…. I have faith. Do you?

What if I told you that you could have everything you want…. would you grab an oar and jump on board with me or would you step back, shake your head in skepticism and wave me goodbye?    What if?    What if?   WHAT IF?




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