I just had a swearing session on my facebook regarding winter and the joys of owning a home, singly. The “f” word popped out. I’m sure some will unfriend me, so be it. Sometimes that is the ONLY word that pertains to frustrating situations!
Yesterday I heard thunder, and saw a robin. While thunder storms are not unheard of in February they are indeed rare. The robin was perched on the eave of my shed. It made me smile. I know not all migrate but I am pretending they do and that Spring is on the cusp of tomorrow, or the day after, the day after, the day after….
Took advantage of the sunshine and warm weather today to get some things done around the house. Managed to get a large area rug rolled up and thrown out on the porch that has been soiled by the new dog. Thank GOD we are over that period. Remaining on the hardwood floor was lots of sand that fell through the rug for a year or so. I put on music (honestly, I don’t want to think about what my life would be like without it!) put on my flip-flops, and proceeded to “flipping and flopping” around the house. Actually, hours later I am still wearing them. I also took them off and stood barefoot in the sand. I can do this, I can do this, I can do this…. After swearing like a parrot (Hey, my dad was in the Navy, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) I finally did get a new door knob and dead bolt installed on one of my outer doors. Had to work on the toilet this morning, it kept running… and changed the filter in my furnace. Oh how I am enjoying home ownership..> NOT! I thought about painting a huge sign “House for Sale” and planting it in the huge pile of snow in the front yard, right next to my mailbox post that resides without the mailbox.
The rain from yesterday melted snow and made it very heavy on roofs and places that can potentially be dangerous. It flowed right into my cellar… This is not new, but it is nonetheless frustrating. Tonight I plan to sit in the quiet of my art room, music softly playing in the background, just enough that I can still hear the animals snoring in the next room. I am working on a piece that I really like, am hopeful that after exerting this energy and getting a couple chores chipped off my “honey do it yourself” list that I will enjoy a peaceful night. My temper tantrum did tire me out, so I am not going to regret throwing my arms around, screaming and swearing… it was release!
Today’s sunshine had my head slanted back and face peering up at the sun. It felt great. Sucking up some Vitamin D. It truly did renew hope within me. Hope that the earth will reveal itself again, that the grass will turn green, the trees will fill in, flowers will pop up and I will once again hear birds chirp.
Hope changes. I am repeatedly reminded that it is always darkest before the dawn and to hang tough, hang strong, this too shall pass. The relief that comes after I drop to my knees, surrender my will over to God and accept whatever is in front of me. Relief. Things that I had once hoped for passed by making no appearance. I then reassess and find hope in another area. It changes. Hope changes.