Well, the Postmaster really wasn’t upset when I piled my many packages on the counter. I was surprised that I only had to wait in line about 5 minutes. I was thankful there was no one behind me, at least for the first couple minutes. Then I felt daggers going into the back of my head, my body. Suddenly there was 5 people in line and they didn’t appreciate how long they had to wait. Made me think of when I do that. I am leering at the person in front of the line (anywhere) who has a zillion things. Guess I should be a little bit more patient, eh?
This holiday season isn’t painful for me, sure I miss those I love and have lost, but I have a dear friend who recently lost her mom. My heart goes out to her. I know, from experience, there isn’t anything I can do or say that will take her pain away. I know the “firsts” of everything after losing someone are so difficult. That is an understatement. Being that her passing was only several weeks ago, it must hurt like hell. Normally she loves the holidays. She is a giver, and enjoys buying gifts (on non holidays too) for others, is always mailing out cards. She is a thoughtful person. Her words went right to my heart and tears flowed down my face when she stated she hasn’t decorated, bought any presents, etc. Her house is always decked out with red poinsettias this time of year. I’m sure she will do some decorating, and I know she can’t not buy her beautiful granddaughters presents, I just wish Santa would bring her a little bit of peace, relief.
I was thinking about last year at this time, Sandy Hook. How frigan awful was that. No doubt all the parents, siblings are in the “anniversary mode” where the only thing you can think of is the trauma of last year, the trauma and the travesty that took place. My prayers go out to all of these people.
A facebook friend posted last night that her granddaughter went to heaven. There were no details, some pictures however of this beautiful newborn baby. One with her sister holding her. Tears fell down my face with this one, too.
The point I am trying to make is not that life sucks. Frankly, sometimes it does. But it cannot hurt to offer prayers for those less fortunate, those in emotional of physical pain, those who are alone this holiday season. Whenever I am sad, someone is always put in my path to help me gain perspective, that things aren’t as bad as they could be. Still, this doesn’t nor should it invalidate whatever I am going through. This year I am doing well. I have only minimally decorated, I don’t have a tree, but for the most part, my heart is filled with memories and love and the spirit of Christmas is within my heart. I am grateful for this. I am grateful that I am not in the throws of grief.
I have a friend coming over to look at my wares, looking for a gift. There is clean laundry piled high in a chair and dirty laundry scattered all over my kitchen floor, the dishes aren’t done, the place hasn’t been vacuumed in days….and I? I have yet to shower. May the force be with them.
And peace to all…….and to all a good night.