and BANG went the car


My morning started out nicely after a straight 7 hour sleep.  That RARELY happens.  I woke up feeling rested, my body was relaxed and comfortable.  Learned that the 10 hours of submissions I did yesterday went well…(was holding my breath on that one… dang computers…okay okay, so it’s me!)   Jumped in my brothers fancy touareg and off to drop my Lilly at my mom’s for a couple hours while I go to therapy.   On the way, close to my mothers the car in front of me had their right blinker on and had slowed down.   I pulled out to go by them and she turned left.  I still cannot believe the heaviness, the stability of his vw.   I steered to the right, heard another big bang, looked up in my rearview window and the car had run into a telephone pole.  I gasped, ran over to see if they were alright, and they were.  (Thank God).   There is not a lot of damage to the vw, but her car needs all the bumper and side moulding, new headlights.  The frame of the car was 1″ away from hitting the telephone pole, and she lucked out that it didn’t damage the radiator.   Sighs.  I ignorantly have thought that expensive cars (bro’s being $50k) were luxuries, status symbols. Holy Crap…. they are so much safer! Still can’t get over it!   She had her hands over her face saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s my fault”.    She was such a sweet person, very kind, and here she was doing a good deed and this happened. I was shaky but she was visually shook up, so I talked with her for a few minutes, called the police, they came, filled out an accident report.  When they left she was left to wait for the wrecker.  I stayed with her, I wouldn’t want to be alone in her position.   She had an elderly passenger who she was taking to the hospital for an appointment.  She was okay.  I AM SO GRATEFUL no one was hurt.   Her partner came, took her passenger to her appointment and they made plans to hook up at the body shoppe.   That was it for my day.  It happened so quick, and it took my calmness with it.   Afterwards I went to my moms to sit and calm down, I had already called my brother with the bad news, though I don’t believe I am at fault and I do have my own insurance…good grief, not fun.

That was about the end of my day.  By the time I arrived home I was mentally and physically exhausted.   Cranked up the electric blanket and watched a movie, then started my day, again.    My thoughts, on my way home were, how quickly our lives can change.  How quickly things can happen that will change our lives forever.  I left my humble abode this morning, calm, rather looking forward to the day of work I had planned.  Never once did I question or think that I would be in an accident.  I don’t suppose anyone does.    I drove in confidence, taking for granted that I would arrived at my destination unharmed.   Then I started to think about trust, faith.   Every time we drive, how many cars go by us?  pass us?  Each one could result in an accident.   We trust and have faith that we are driving well, and that those we meet are too…even if they, we were, accidents happen.  It sucks.

I feel sad for the woman whose going to have some major repairs to her car.  She has insurance, she didn’t know what her deductible was, I don’t know what mine is either.   I am trying to remain focused on the good, that we weren’t injured, that we were all safe.  Everything else doesn’t matter, it lays out much inconvenience but all can be fixed or replaced, humans cannot.  But you already know that, don’t you?

I made myself a bowl of tomato soup with oyster crackers and lots of pepper.  Comfort, feel good food.  It hit the spot.   I am going to attempt to do the paperwork I had planned to do earlier today, but if that doesn’t happen, that doesn’t happen.  I am learning to be kinder, gentler to myself, to treat myself like I would others.  Deep breath.

The other thing I thought of, if I had died, would I know how I died?  Or would everyone else know and not I?  That would piss me off! 🙂

Drive safe, defensively, enjoy this very moment knowing that it just takes one instant for our lives to change.  Hope you have a good week!


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