I find myself in unfamiliar territory. I think it was easier when I felt like I didn’t have choices in my life (to my detriment). Now I realize I have more than enough choices but the decisions aren’t coming easy. I realize some of it is taking responsibility for my actions, my choices. It really is easier on one level to just take what is given you. It is also defeating.
Even with that I believe I have been given what I need. One of the most obscure challenges (?) I have found in life is self will. I know that this uncertainty will pass, clarity shall fall upon my restless soul and I shall walk in the direction that I am supposed to…I will be given what I need, I will be guided. Right now I need to sit with these thoughts, these feelings, as they are important and will serve as an important part of my acceptance…Yes, we have choices, yes we can do just about anything we want to do. I do feel peaceful, serene when I believe I am walking in the direction that God wants me to walk. I call it “in alignment”.
I have also learned that I sometimes confuse anxiety with excitement. That same feeling. Sound nuts? Well, yeah, I suppose I am!.
I said to a close friend the other day “I know I am supposed to write, I have known since I was an adolescent that this is what I’m supposed to do”…so, I want to pursue this. He said “Donna, you ARE a writer!” My eyebrows rose as my head fell forward a bit. I guess, I guess I am!
There is a song that I heard on the radio the other day, have added it to my favorites list on Spotify, it is “Try”, by Pink. Yep, it is a song that resonated and continues to throughout my daily thoughts. Try….try. Success isn’t necessarily in the outcome, but on the journey, the trying, the doing…..
Tomorrow I am going to try harder…. 🙂