Aside

My sweet little shed greeted me when I turned into my driveway. It brings a smile to my face, it never ceases to make me smile.  It’s good to be home.  This week I have seen three beautiful sunrises.   I shamefully admit, it has been a very long time since witnessing one.  My natural clock is set on third shift, I usually fall asleep just before sunrise, or if I am awake I am so engulfed in whatever I am doing that I miss it.  I vowed that I will see more sunrises.     Time waits for nobody, so what am I waiting for? 

While driving to Massachusetts to teach my last of four classes at an arts convention before sunrise this morning I saw two deer, separately.  This is not uncommon, though always enjoyable (well, as long as they aren’t running out in front of me).  This time of year they are particularly stunning.  I admire their quiet demeanor, their grace.   I guess you could call me a sap, as it not only made me smile but brought tears to my eyes.   Nature is profound, simply profound.

Had really nice students in class, everyone painted beautifully and were happy to be there. I need to remind myself of how I feel upon returning from a convention as when I am in the confines of my home, alone, painting, months on end, I start to question why I do this. How ridiculous of me, really. I’m an artist, the question that comes to mind should be “Why would I stop doing this?” Art has filled a void in my heart for many years now. It also comforts me, as my best work is really at my darkest times, well I think so anyway. I love that I am creative. I am still learning to not judge my success on whether my designs are popular or not. My favorite of my new designs did not sell! Some didn’t believe it was my work. Yes, it is different for me, but I am changing, I am growing. I like what is coming through my heart, out my hand onto my canvas. That is how I should define success. 90-95% of artists cannot nor should count their success by their income or we’d all be in mental hospitals battling chronic depression, low self worth! Art is so subjective. When I start to compare mine to others I know I’m in trouble. I am not in competition with anyone, my art isn’t supposed to be like anyone else’s. It is supposed to be what I see. I struggle at times, as I want to paint a more realistic landscape, or this one Santa scene I’ve been painting who is holding a baby lamb. I have slaughtered that baby lamb 5 times with my brush. I happily confess, however, that he is now adorable. Thank God, as I was about to throw him across the room. I am happy that I will be home for a couple months straight now. Lots to do!

I chose to drive to and from the convention this year, 4.5 hours in the car a day, but it helped soothe my nerves. I enjoy driving, I particularly enjoy driving in Fall through New England. I don’t think it gets much better than this. Everything looks beautiful, everything is beautiful!

I am once again returning to writing my book. This time I will be backing up to external hard drive…. 🙂 “Blessed are the pessimists for they hath made backups!” My iphone surely comes in handy, Siri rocks! She takes notes for me while driving, which makes for not only relaxing and enjoyable but productive driving. Oh how I’m trying not to judge my worth on my productivity, though I do aspire to accomplish much. I should be more focused and get more done, however, because as of this week I am dumping cable, will only keep Netflix. It’s just too expensive and I can’t afford it, even if I could I don’t think I could justify it. What crap there is on television these days!

As reliable as ever, I was able to count on sleeping, crashing, the day following this convention. I woke up early, mentally refreshed, though my body was in conflict with this. I watched a movie, or should I say, I fell back to sleep to a movie, and slept soundly for another 3 hours. It was needed but I am a bit disappointed as I missed out on part of this gorgeous Fall day.

I am excited because I am about to take delivery on a new “used” living room set! My girlfriend, whom takes very good care of her things, has purchased a new set. This will be the first “solid” couch I have ever owned. Woohoo! I will be able to make printed pillows, curtains!
She texted me this morning to let me know an approximate time of arrival and said “I am excited for both of us”. Now that’s a friend! I had given up hope of ever getting another one. I have had this one for 10 years, and it was used when I bought it. I would say I got my $225 worth out of it. I just had my “goodbye” conversation with it…Seriously! Perhaps? Perhaps when I look over at the couch now, I will not look for Brody to be lying on his back asleep. He loved this couch! I originally got this bigger one so that he and I could lay on it together while watching television. I had a small love seat before, it just didn’t work… and I didn’t like sitting on the floor seeing Brody sprawled out on the loveseat! 🙂 As true with her new set, this one comes to me with no memories that chain my thoughts to my heart. Will be making all new ones!

I am counting on my body becoming motivated to super clean my house this evening! It is a bit chaotic right now, side effects of a 3 week creative streak and one week living on the road. Perhaps tomorrow morning, as I face my long “honey do it yourself” list, I will rise and shine to a shiny clean house. I love walking barefoot on clean tiled floors…it makes me smile.

So there you have it, my day today. I hope yours went well, that you are happy with yourself for what you did or didn’t do, and I hope that you enjoyed the lovely weather that we are here in New England. Cheers!

Last convention this year….

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