I screwed up……..


I am a black or white thinker. Just when I think I have graduated from this way of thinking, I do something that ends up being exemplary proof that this self defeating thought process still exists within me. Perhaps I would benefit from reading 50 shades of grey….???????

Remember in the television series “Dallas” when a whole season ended up being “just a dream”? Lets think of my last blog as a mirage, a dream. Thank you all for your comments, private messages, emails, well wishes. Thank you to two very dear friends who pointed out that my decision to stop writing blogs was indeed, evidence that my black or white thinking still crops up. Writing is something I love to do. I love to share my thoughts, I love the feedback and comments I have received. Why should I stop this? Why don’t I just alter what it is I am sharing if I feel like I am sharing too much?Also just pointed out…if this is something I enjoy doing, and this is ingrained in me, then perhaps this is what I am supposed to be doing….! Here’s the thing….there are some things going on that I am not sharing. Because I have beared my soul in the past, I feel ungenuine if I am not sharing it all…

I sat feeling really sad today, actually feeling alone. I do not mind being alone but this feeling was different. Clearly I had made a mistake…so I will be continuing my blogging, this wasn’t an intentional act of drama or attention seeking, it was a perfect example of why I benefit from psycho therapy. I can still work on my goals, aspirations, and continue to blog, though I do not know how many of you will be reading them now! Hope you accept my humanness, my imperfections. Hope you will continue to follow my entries.

I honestly did not think it mattered to anyone, or that what I had to say was helpful to others. Thank you for those of you whom shared what my blog means to you. Thank you.

I have felt like a lost puppy dog all day with very little, in fact close to no motivation to do anything at all. Not my best day but not my worst.

I apologize for what may be construed as drama. I despise drama.

So with egg on my face I ask you, how was your day?


About anartistslife

Through the many trials, triumphs and tribulations of my life, I share my stories to help others. I share my thoughts to perhaps bring a new point of view to my readers, and I share my opinions because I just have better ideas! ♥♥! Where would we be without humor?

3 responses »

  1. Glad you changed your mind. I was trying to figure out why you would put something in the way side that (seems to me) helps you put our feelings out, good or bad or just funny. I feel you are a person that needs to do this. I was afraid if you quit, things might get bottled up inside and “I” would not know how you were doing. I care about ya!! Keep up the good spirit, I look forward to reading some funny full of life new blogs in 2013. ***HUGS*** Love ya 😉

  2. I agree with Robin 100%. You bring so much to our lives. The good, the bad, the ugly. For me the good I’ve gotten from your blog far out ways any bad. I’ve known you for almost 10 years and KNOW you would never mean any harm. Wow……..10 years. Where did that go? LOL! I love you (((((((Donna))))))) keep bloggin’ my “sista”! xoxox

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