I am a black or white thinker. Just when I think I have graduated from this way of thinking, I do something that ends up being exemplary proof that this self defeating thought process still exists within me. Perhaps I would benefit from reading 50 shades of grey….???????
Remember in the television series “Dallas” when a whole season ended up being “just a dream”? Lets think of my last blog as a mirage, a dream. Thank you all for your comments, private messages, emails, well wishes. Thank you to two very dear friends who pointed out that my decision to stop writing blogs was indeed, evidence that my black or white thinking still crops up. Writing is something I love to do. I love to share my thoughts, I love the feedback and comments I have received. Why should I stop this? Why don’t I just alter what it is I am sharing if I feel like I am sharing too much?Also just pointed out…if this is something I enjoy doing, and this is ingrained in me, then perhaps this is what I am supposed to be doing….! Here’s the thing….there are some things going on that I am not sharing. Because I have beared my soul in the past, I feel ungenuine if I am not sharing it all…
I sat feeling really sad today, actually feeling alone. I do not mind being alone but this feeling was different. Clearly I had made a mistake…so I will be continuing my blogging, this wasn’t an intentional act of drama or attention seeking, it was a perfect example of why I benefit from psycho therapy. I can still work on my goals, aspirations, and continue to blog, though I do not know how many of you will be reading them now! Hope you accept my humanness, my imperfections. Hope you will continue to follow my entries.
I honestly did not think it mattered to anyone, or that what I had to say was helpful to others. Thank you for those of you whom shared what my blog means to you. Thank you.
I have felt like a lost puppy dog all day with very little, in fact close to no motivation to do anything at all. Not my best day but not my worst.
I apologize for what may be construed as drama. I despise drama.
So with egg on my face I ask you, how was your day?