I have noticed some of my friends have sort of disappeared or at a distance now, perhaps because they are uncomfortable, or don’t know what to say to me about all that I have shared, has transpired in the last few months. I tend to share very personal things, all with the hope of helping someone, to let them know they are not alone with their struggles. I remember a conversation I had with friends who had lost their only son. Some of their friends disappeared. I remember thinking how horrible that was until I read an article and experienced this myself. It is hard to be with someone that you don’t know what to say or do. That no matter what, you are not going to take their pain away. Most people want to walk away from a conversation with someone experiencing great difficulties or loss, knowing that they have in some way helped when in reality there is absolutely nothing you can say or do that will take their pain away. Absolutely nothing. When people lose children, sadly, this is very common, that their friends sort of disappear into the sunset, which is sad. If only they would just sit with them, bring them tea, coffee, just sit even in total silence, and what I believe to be a large thing is to pray. Pray for them. I believe in the power of prayer. I am walking proof of this. I fortunately, do not know the pain related to losing a child. I have, however watched my parents deal with the loss of two children, their youngest and oldest daughters, and I have seen their pain, but still, I have not felt it. I was also too wrapped up in my own I think to help them, though they say that is not true. I knew there was nothing I can do or say, but I could and was there for them. People want to walk away feeling like they have helped, even if in some way. When they can’t, this plays upon their own limitations. Experience brings knowledge, once you go through things empathy follows.
It also seems like so many people I love are facing serious health issues or worse. I was talking with a friend about this the other day and it came to my attention that just by virtue of what I do for work, I live large. I am blessed with so many friends, true friends, wonderful people in my life, more than the average bear. This is wonderful! When I was going through my own bout with cancer I received hundreds of get well and good wish cards. My family and I were amazed at how many, this is when I learned to receive, to allow others the opportunity to help me and feel good about themselves. Learning to receive was difficult. In doing so, however, I opened my heart to the love and help of people who also care about me. This was and continues to be powerful. It also means that when they are struggling or facing ordeals in which they need. It seems like every week there is someone else in despair, or as I said earlier, needing my thoughts and prayers. The most important thing in my life and what I measure success by my relationship with family and friends. I am surrounded with good people. There are no words to tell how fortunate I am and have been for such.
My friend Catty, who I stayed with in CT a couple days ago had ovarian cancer earlier this year. Her treatment is thru. She is tired, and has what may be left over from chemo, though I fear worse. Chemotherapy sucks. Just sucks. I will not choose to go through it should I have a recurrence. My mom says to me “You will not know until you are faced with it”…. Hey it took me almost 50 years to learn that my parents DO in fact know what they are talking about, I’m sure she is right about this, too.
Today I am asking for prayers for four people. Good people in very difficult and trying places. All have been good to me, all and have played an important role in my healing and recovery. My friend Chris is in surgery right now. Serious, very serious problem and potential. I learned of this on Sunday night when I returned home from California. If you pray, I ask that you include her in your prayers. She reached out to me and also, played an important part of my healing and lifting of the deepest depression I have experienced. We all need other people in our lives, we all need to know that we matter, that there is someone in the world who cares… I am blessed with a multitude of love and generosity. It is such a gift. Chris is someone I am very close to, one whom we do midnight runs to Dunkin Donuts, allowing us the time to talk and or laugh together, and trust me, we do both.
Also yesterday I received the very sad news that my friend Bob, the man who lives behind me, has been a friend and a helpful one at that (he benevolently has taken care of my lawn for many years, and cleans out my hole of a car when the crap gets piled to the windows, and also pulls out my garbage on Wednesday night because he knows I have or will forget)…..Has lung and brain cancer, the extent yet unknown. Obviously none of this is good. My heart hurts for both of these people and my knees hit the floor in prayer. So many people I know are struggling. If not from personal health issues, from “Sandy” who came in and took atheir home and vehicles, every material item and their homes, I can’t imagine losing my home. I would like to ask for your prayers for these people. Linda, from Long Island who is unfortunately the person whose sad situation is one I just spoke of. Your prayers would be most appreciated not only by me, but I’m sure the three of these beautiful people and their family and friends.
My mom has always been concerned with my sharing of personal problems, obviously she has my best interest at heart. As I said earlier, I share to help others. I told my mom “I wouldn’t share about my sex life, even if I had one!” If my blogs or sharing can help or reach just one person, than sharing these challenges and issues is worth it. I do think, however, that there are people who have, for whatever reason, stopped following the events of my life. First, they have their own life and events…life surely can be challenging and difficult. It also is beautiful and full of blessings. I am so grateful to be alive and have all the people in my life whom have touched my heart, offered their constant friendship and prayers, and share with me the events, both good and bad, of their lives. It is an honor to be trusted with their stories and needs. It is even more an honor to be on the other side and able to give back. Worth repeating. It is even more an honor to be on the other side and able to give back!
I live large. I have so many friends, good people in my life. Thank you all. Thank you all for your benevolence, prayers, thoughts, and willingness to help me in so many ways during the challenges of my life. It feels so good to be on the other side, helping others. What a gift, what a journey…Giving back what was kindly given to me is the most rewarding experience in my life.
Love and blessings to you all…… xx