Another dreary gloomy and damp day here in Vermont, but nonetheless beautiful as I am still surrounded with the palette of Fall foliage. Lovely!
I’m actually trying to get up earlier these days, and succeeded this morning by getting up before 9. Hey, hope miracles never cease! I am shooting for 8:00 or 8:30 to try to get on a schedule, and included in that schedule will be 30 minutes of exercise.
My battle with food still continues. First, an addiction to sugar and second, eating when I’m upset, happy, sad, confused, bewildered, stressed, bored, okay let’s just say awake! Food comforts me, it is hard to let go of that. I lost all that weight last year and have gained half back. It’s maddening and frustrating. Instead of going back on such a restricted diet, I am cutting back on things and making better decisions when it comes to food. The drastic restricted diet only serves now to make me feel deprived, and then guess what I do? I eat more! Learning to love myself as I am also continues to be an issue. I have been beating myself up for gaining weight which guess what? Yup! Causes me to eat more! What a vicious vicious cycle. It is definately something I need to deal with one day at a time. Sometimes one hour. I know if I can get past 3 days the cravings for sugar will be much less. The chatter in my head needs to be reprogrammed. You would think with all the voices I hear berating myself that there would be one who would smack the hell out of the negative ones! My friend Judy reminds me to be gentle on myself, that this is who we are and that when I’m ready, I’ll do it. Getting ready is the hardest thing. Don’t you wish you could give it to others? Man that would be a rockin gift.
Well, I’m heading down to clean up my house and hopefully paint. My hands seem to be working much better today so I have to take full advantage of it! Thank god, picking my nose won’t be so hard… KIDDING!
Have a blessed day. xx