Girls gone wild!

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Friday night I had a slumber party with two of my girlfriends, one whom I’ve known since 4th grade, and one since 9th grade. It was a blast! It has been hmmmm, 10 years since we graduated high school? (lololol) We had so much to talk about, and an abundance of laughter echoed through my humble little abode, and at Applebee’s where we had “the perfect margarita”…or was it martini? I always confuse the two. During dinner discussion I learned that Jo and I even had the same “first love”! She said to me, “I was so mad at you that you were with Mark during that dance in Spofford Hall”..(or something close to that). Was I in 6th grade? 7th? 8th? I can’t remember, but I do remember him being a great kisser! I didn’t even know she and he had a thing! At least I don’t remember, but I do remember Mark… he was a good guy, a handsome guy, a talented musician. When he would visit I would ask him to play and sing John Denver songs, in which he did, until he would say “I have to stop”….Nice memories. I recognize, now, that my ending our relationship quickly and abruptly was due to my fear of intimacy. We were getting close, very close. A male friend said to me “You are afraid of intimacy and yet you write very personal things in your blogs!” Yup, I do, but that is “safe”. My fear of intimacy is still very much alive inside of me, and yet it is the very thing I crave.

Anyway, it was an evening filled with fine female friendship, nostalgia, and much laughter. I was given a “surprise birthday song” from staff…Um, my birthday is in December…. Smarty pants Jo! And then later I said something and she said to me “Ahhh, don’t worry about that, it’s your birthday!”…… I’m still smiling.

I love my family, I love my friends. I feel so blessed today as I think about all the people who have helped me through not only these very difficult few months, but also years. I am not grasping a violin as I say “I have been through a lot”… as I have. At lunch yesterday with a girlfriend I said “I am a better person for all that has happened to or involving me. I know people who are bitter over lesser things. Bitter or better? I choose better! Thank you all for your support, some who have been there for me for specific events, others all along, and for the prayers. I believe I would not have made it without all the help and support, encouragement, and prayers that were said for me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I will soon be back teaching. I am excited about that, and sketching out new designs. I walked around my house this morning (after sewing until 3am) thinking how fortunate I am to be where I am, to own my home, to be able to see and enjoy the beautiful weather that we have been gifted with. Fall is my favorite weather of all times…The blue skies, the crisp breezes that awaken every part of your body as you walk against the wind. Yesterday I heard Canada geese flying South…wow, summer really is gone.

I was sitting at dinner with a friend last night and we were discussing the challenges we’ve experienced over the past few years. The fight/flight sometimes for food, clothing, shelter. When basic needs are threatened, it puts you in that state. Our bodies can only handle that for so long. I have yet to learn how to thoroughly relax and enjoy myself. I am working diligently on staying in the moment, in the now. It helps. I am also working on forgiving myself, I am human, so what if I gained weight, I can lose it again? And kind of have to in order to fit into my clothes…

I’m off, like a prom dress,,, will I sew or nap? Not quite sure, but what I do know is, I’m looking forward to another slumber party, if anyone would like to join us, you are welcome…..

Sending love and happy thoughts out to all of you…And wishing you (and myself) peace, serenity, which only comes through acceptance of whatever it is imprisoning us in our own negative cell…… I hereby free myself from that, am taking control back… I have control over what I put in my mouth, I have control over whether I exercise or not….I need to woman up and start doing these things again.

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About anartistslife

Through the many trials, triumphs and tribulations of my life, I share my stories to help others. I share my thoughts to perhaps bring a new point of view to my readers, and I share my opinions because I just have better ideas! ♥♥! Where would we be without humor?

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