For a person who has always been right out there with my life (as my mom has always told me “You wear your heart on your sleeve”) I am finding the need to pull inward, tuck myself into my shell, so to speak. Not sure if this is good or bad, it just is what it is. And no, it isn’t because I have acquired the book “50 shades of Grey”…. I haven’t even opened it!
No one knows what another person has gone thru or what they are going thru. We simply cannot or do not walk in another persons shoes. I was reminded of that tonight when something was said to me that annoyed me.
I am so grateful for my therapist and the changes I am making in my life. Necessary changes. I am responsible for my life, my health, my bills, I am in the process of making changes, choosing different roads to travel that perhaps will not conclude to be difficult paths, but then again, most things are difficult… except eating ice cream. Tonight I went to Friendly’s with a friend and had my favorite Strawberry Sundae with strawberry and Vanilla ice cream, with bananas, walnuts, whipped cream with a cherry on top. It went down so quickly I am left questioning if there really was ice cream in the bowl! 😮
I think there is a difference between pulling inward, not revealing so much of my life or experiences, and isolating. I isolated out of depression, fear; My choosing to pull inward is self preservation, and a desire to not give away my experiences so freely, to be criticized or doubted by many. My friend Harry (Noodle) said tonight “You certainly have a lot of experiences that you can share with others”…. A couple people, I believe, think I have exagerrated my experiences…hardly. If anything I withheld…
As Bob Dylan sings “For the times they are a changing”……….
Sweet sheep! xx