Trying to find my way out of the webbed and complicated maze of depression. Anxiety has been running high. I am taking tomorrow off from “psych camp” to rest up my tired body and soul and get ready for Saturday’s Festival of Art’s in Attleboro, MA.
Typically I would be excited about it, and it isn’t now that I’m not excited, it is that I am apprehensive and nervous. I’m not myself, and it will be my first time away since I’ve been in the hospital.
I’m trying not to have so many demanding expectations of myself, to just do my best, not worry about the outcome, and not think that I need to do above and beyond what I am capable of right now.
The hard work has begun again, living outside the safety zone. So often I feel I’m “not good enough” so I strive to do more and more to a point of pain and exhaustion and then ultimately, disappointment in myself.
Off to sleep for what I hope will be a good 4-5 solid hours of rest… rest would be good here. General Patton said “Fatigue makes cowards of all of us”…. I agree.
Hope you have a wonderful Friday !