Today I had a really nice day. For the first time in weeks I was relatively pain free! I also visited with a good friend and confidant (not to be confused with kommandant!), had an unexpected visit from my childhood “big brother”, and for this day I am chomping on a piece of gum feeling very very grateful for this break, this mood, this day, oh this beautiful day!
No, I am not bipolar off meds. I am, however a woman who admittingly struggles with both depression and anxiety patient on meds!!! And you know what? I’m not ashamed to say that or share that. Which is worse? Knowing, admitting and sharing you have a mental illness OR Not knowing you have one and bashing someone who does? People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but what if they don’t know they live in a glass house? This is 2012, not 1950 when you were locked up because they didn’t know what to do with you. Thank god for the progress in the medical field via treatment, medications, less ignorance and more education on mental illnesses.
This afternoon Lilly Wonka jumped up into a chair that had a lapquilt thrown over it. In doing so, the blanket somehow arched away from the back of the chair towards the front, it’s weight holding it up in the shape of a statue. Unbeknownst to her that this was over her head, I sat watching with interest. I looked over to the sofa, there sat Brody, in dolby stereo with me, looking at her and the blanket, then looking at me, looking back at her and the blanket. The blanket was now slowly “collapsing”, she still did not know. I sat now fully intrigued with the dynamics of this and thoroughly entertained by Brody looking at it, watching it, then looking at me. There was a connection between us, we were clearly thinking the same thing….what that was, I don’t know! The look on his face was priceless, recipoical to what I was thinking. The blanket finally collapsed and fell over and onto her, to which she didn’t even flinch, but lay there with the covers over her as she so likes. It was quite funny.
I have been doing Phase 1 of the diet I did, and have already lost 4 of the 8 lbs I put on last week when I took food as my groom! Speaking of grooms….
My girlfriend and I had a fit of laughing this morning over this. I said “You know, I don’t think I’ll get another date or ever have another boyfriend, given the things I share in my blog”….. She replied “Well (chuckling under her breath as she said this) it could very well attract a crazy undesired man who says ‘Man this gal is Crazy’, I’m in!” It was a good belly roll…or maybe you had to be there? Seriously though, I do share more than the average bear! Trust, however, that I would never write about my sex life, even if I had one!
My bestest friend and I chatted last night for quite a while. It was just what I needed. This reminds me of the day my sister died and my cousin came down to sit with me. She didn’t force conversation, she didn’t try to fix me or make me feel better, she sat quietly, reading, served me hot tea and some food she had brought. Throughout the day there was such a range of emotions, and she was there for every step, silent support, lending her ear, her heart, her time. While I appreciated it then, it is one of those gifts that keeps on giving. Over the years I have come to savor and honor how helpful this was dualed with a very powerful lesson. I don’t need to have the right words, say the right thing, fix, or try to fix another person in need, but I know now, from what was so graciously given to me that day…a simple act of kindness, a simple act of giving of your time, a simple act of love, pure unadulterated love.
May you bless someone in your heart today, or may you be blessed (both one in the same) with a simple act of love. xx