I started a painting last night in greens, blues, and purples. I actually still liked it this morning when I looked at it, so I think this is going to be a good one. It’s funny, I pretty much know when I sit down if it’s going to be a productive time or “practice” time. So many projects that I’ve started and ditched. This one was started by painting over another one I didn’t like.
The weather has been twin to the way I’ve been feeling. Cold, rainy, damp. My bones hurt, my body has been craving rest. I find myself so tired of saying “I’m tired”. What has helped me is to listen to my friends, and the complexities and events in their lives. It’s a trying time for many people. Ya never have to look too far to find someone, anyone who has it much worse off than you.
Like younger siblings learning from the older ones in the family, Lilly at times mocks everything that Brody does. I about wet my pants, however, when I saw her chasing after him and then lifted her leg to pee on the same branch that he claimed! The cats have been mousing, particularly the indoor cats who love this time of year as the mice (more like baby moles) come in for warmth. They will sit for hours and guard the refrigerator. Apparently they have come in that way. My furries continue to be a source of unconditional love, warmth and happiness for me. Even Chloe who ran through my palette and tracked it on the hardwood floors and tiled kitchen floor. I’m working on ridding fleas, I found a couple on Lilly so started the daily vacuuming and treatment for such. I hate them!
I received a call from my Dr yesterday that my liver enzymes were completely normal! Also that my thyroid was within normal range. Both I embraced with open arms, feeling blessed! Still concerned about the hair loss, which I thought had halted but it hasn’t. If this isn’t thyroid related, what is it? It’s probably the shock to my system over losing 70+ pounds.
I’m still not ready to start my day. My eyes are closing, my body hurts (weather related, I’m sure). The battle between mental and physical begins. “Get up, you are being lazy, you need to get things done”… and my body replies “You aren’t hearing me, I am tired, sore, I need rest”. The self critic jumps in, puts the directors hat on and starts pushing on the guilt and unworthiness of being idle while yet the body continues to protest. I’m aware that I used to validate my own worth by my daily accomplishments. I continue to remind myself that my worthiness has nothing to do with the checks on my To Do list! I compromise by starting with a hot jet bath…
Hope your day is filled with sunshine and if its as dismal where you are as it is here, I hope you’re able to create your own!