Leather & Lace


Why are men from mars and women from venus when it rhymes with….. penis???  Makes no sense to me.

Most of my life what I longed for was a “family of my own”, a partner in life to walk with me, grow old with me, etc.   Now I’m not sure I can afford to live to be old, and I’m quite certain if that happens I’ll be living like “the golden girls”.  Unable to bear children, I guess it made sense to marry them.  Thank God for growth!

Today my longing is to be happy, serene and live a peaceful purposeful existence.   That doesn’t mean I don’t long for partnership, for sex, for touch, for intimacy, but it does mean that I’m not willing to give up the earlier for the later.   Priorities!  Alignment with a partner would be because of immense love, respect, commonality.  There was a time in my life where I was partnered because I was afraid to be alone.  Again…thank god for growth!

It was impressed upon me that my future, my financial success, my owning a house would happen when I aligned with a man.  I believed this, I felt inferior.  Oddly or ironically (or both!) my life has given me experience after experience that has strengthened my sense of self, my ability to weather storms, and thankfully my ability to say words that once did not exist in my dictionary.  Words like “No!”, after all, it IS a full sentence!  or “Yes I would love to!”.  I have learned about choices that I never knew I had.  The choices I make today are no longer only based on what is good for others but what is also good for me!

I’m am strong willed, stubborn.  I am outspoken and blurt out the “obvious truth” to others.  I have learned, this is not always welcomed… go figure!   Far from perfect but sporting a big heart and a caring soul I know that I am not a mistake.   Surely times of hardship have made me question such, or my very existence, but then, given time, I am shown a purpose behind the struggles.  Or is it that I find one?

I understand the leathery side of life about as much as I understand the mechnical aspects of my car.  Not!   I like men.  I enjoy their company, their views, their abilities, but I no longer feel inferior or feel that my life is dependent on having one by my side.  I have a life, a good life.  I have a career, an opinion, my own house.  Surely my lace is looking more like tatting, wearing shorter in terms of age, but the threads that bind the lace together are strong, ambitious and full of hope that one day again, I shall unite happilly with leather.  Neither  shall we lose a bit of my own design or strength.  Unions should be strengthening, certainly not weaken the fibers of existence, whatever the fiber!  If this does not happen, feel not bad for me.   For I have a good life, filled with love, laughter and creativity…I am peaceful and serene and full of Hope of not only tomorrow, but today!

Ahhh, Leather and lace….a lovely combination but not essential for life!


About anartistslife

Through the many trials, triumphs and tribulations of my life, I share my stories to help others. I share my thoughts to perhaps bring a new point of view to my readers, and I share my opinions because I just have better ideas! ♥♥! Where would we be without humor?

One response »

  1. Donna. I love reading these. I miss seeing you at the old “Bville”. I know for a fact that were I was then was certainly not where I am today and I love relating to what you have to say. Things change. Not always for the worse and not always for the better but it happens. It seems we are always in control but not really. I’m glad that I have experienced so much and have a tiny idea of where you are in your life. Everyone is different and everyone is the same. I wish you well with all my heart. You are certainly an inspiration and without a doubt always put a smile on my face. Take care Donna. Know that we are always thinking of you!

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