Sometimes the environment of decorative painting classes can be somewhat like that of a hairdresser. You hear all kinds of stories about people, some that you do not even know. It can be interesting when you meet someone that you’ve heard things about and as you shake their hand and say “it’s nice to meet you” you hope that your eyebrows didn’t raise up when they said their name. Of late the trend seems to be reconciliation with former spouses from years prior. Okay, not so much a “trend” but I’ve heard of three people going back to their ex’s in the past week. I find this interesting. What would Dr. Phil say?
Well first, while I think Dr Phil makes much sense, I also think he can be obnoxious, rude and overbearing. With that said, I have heard him say “What makes you think it will work the second time around?”. Yet I have been there, my heart has still been involved with someone in my past long after the relationship has ended. I read a quote the other day that made me chuckle. It said “No one is ever as perfect or good as you remember them to be”. While it’s good that we remember the good times, and look at the good in others, I think it’s also important to be real. I was talking with a friend the other day about how much I’ve evolved over the past few years and he said “Don’t you think everyone does?” My answer was quick “No!”. I have known people who have not, nor had no intention of changing, though life does have a way of tossing us into new terrains and forcing us to think differently at times, I do not believe that everyone strives to evolve.
I have also noticed how quickly people get into relationships after a breakup with someone else. I find this fascinating, really. Now, this isn’t criticism, I honestly do not understand it, so when I see this happen, my eyebrows go up and I study it, intrigued by how it will turn out. Perhaps I’m still in the fairy tale land, or perhaps I am fussy. Perhaps it takes me a long time to work through the wreckage or make resolution with the last relationship, or all the above. Perhaps I just don’t want to settle. So as I had spent the past few years alone (though dating) I have watched others, friends, family do this. Is it possible for someone to find their soulmate 2 weeks after a breakup with someone they’ve been with for many years? Ahhh, this is where I had to open my eyes and understanding to the fact that everyone wants different things. Some people do not want to be alone, their expectations, their desires are so much different than mine. Doesn’t make it right or wrong, it just is. Others go in and out of relationships like I do grocery stores. This too amazes me. Obviously the level on which their heart is involved is much lighter than how I involve myself in a relationship.
The older I get the more I realize, love is a choice. No one is perfect, I sure the hell am not. Compatability is a huge factor here, and for me, friendship is important. If you aren’t friends, how could you be lovers? Well, okay, I’m not talking about a screwing buddy that you meet up with to meet your sexual needs, that is quite popular these days too. Oh my, have things changed since I was a teenager and single.
It’s interesting to watch, these sliding doors that open and close on relationships. Even more interesting are those where they draw the drapes closed and do not open them until one is booted out. For me, I will continue to take my time in this department, and I’ll continue to find the behavior and actions of others interesting. I think it’s always sad when a healthy good relationship ends. And it’s always hard to watch someone work their way through the heartache of an ended relationship. I am one to lick my wounds in private, I isolate, withdraw, not necessarily the healthiest way to deal with things.
But then, when lust comes knocking on our door, it is inviting, fun and takes shape to many of us as love. Which brings me to the difference between love and lust…… Ahhh, another day…..