So…. last night I pulled an “all nighter”. I wish I could tell you it was a hot date or a night out on the town. Trust me, it was no where near as exciting as that! This morning I crawled into bed hoping to sleep for a few hours when after a couple of hours the phone rang, prodding my Australian shepherd to jump up on the bed, laying on top of me… in other words “It’s time to get up, Momma!”
I dragged my tired butt out of bed, threw on some sweat pants and followed HIM outside. After tossing the frisbee around for him a few times I decided to just bite the bullet. That is, stay up, run into town and do the errends that I needed to do, and do my best to stay awake for the remainder of the day. So I stumbled back upstairs, rummaged through my clothes to find something to wear, dressed and headed out to town.
A few minutes into the ride I found myself shifting positions in my seat, I was extremely uncomfortable. Finally I realized, it wasn’t the positioning of the car seat but the underwear I was wearing (consequences of putting off laundry those extra few days). I was down to the bottom of my drawer…you know, the “worst of the worst” undies! Good grief, I thought to myself, no wonder I do not wear these underwear often! Not only that, but as I was pulling at the underwear through my jeans I discovered a new bulge of fat on my right hip area. How strange, I thought, that it was only on one side, and how could it have appeared so quickly? I shouldn’t have eaten that big bowl of peppermint stick ice cream last night!
As I walked into Walmart I took an immediate right into the Women’s Restroom. I had already decided that this destination was their marked graveside. Well, you can imagine my surprise when I discovered that first off, I had my underwear on backwards…. and second… the new bulge of fat on my right hip area? Well that was one of my LL Bean wool socks that was lost in the dryer that took residence inside my jeans.
I’m not really sure what the moral of this story is. I suppose it should be the importance of sleep, or perhaps the creative part of me is designing new underwear with a giant B(back) and F(front) embroidered fancily on them. Remember the days of the Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…. undies?
With all of this revealed, and before I regret hitting publish, I am heading to bed!