A fire, a reading, and breathing…

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Driving up in the hills of Vermont today to a friends house to get a psychic reading I found myself smiling and chillin with Dylan.  I LOVE the mountains, I LOVE driving on back dirt roads where you see large old farm houses and open land, as  for me my spirit within soars.

I haven’t had a reading in years, probably 4.  It’s something that I just do not do anymore.  Anytime I have had a reading the psychic has said to me “There isn’t much I can tell you that you do not already know yourself”… they pick up on my strong intuitive side or the sixth sense that I do not advertise nor hone.

Today I was the third person to get a reading and I was extremely nervous.  I have never been nervous at a reading.  I was anxious, extremely anxious to the point where I had thought, perhaps I should not do this.  Yet the minute I sat down and told her I was nervous, and recalled the last reading she did for me, I calmed down and thought, okay, this is going to be okay.   Perhaps I was afraid that she would tell me my cancer was going to come back?   Perhaps I was going to hear that someone else I love is going to die?  Nah…. this woman doesn’t do that, not really.  She reads from the cards that you shuffle and pull out of the deck, and interestingly enough, they always seem to be so on target.  I do not go there to find out about what tomorrow will bring, I go there to see if she’ll share the winning megabucks numbers! ha!  I go there because this woman has unbelievable healing energy, and I really liked that about her last time.  She shared with me some insight that really helped me with some decision making I had to make.  We aren’t talking Do this or Do that… it is her energy, it is that I feel like I have met her somewhere before, and I feel safe with her, as if she is a guide.  Now, if she told me to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge I would not do so… I am talking on a spiritual level.

She told me my cards were very interesting and she smiled at them.  The Empress, and another that were very feminine and prosperous.   She again and also shared with me how intuitive I am, and that I am spiritually wealthy, extremely wealthy.   I also had the luckiest card in the deck…. Does that mean I am going to get lucky??? hmmmm.   She pointed to three cards placed together and spoke of poverty and I laughed…. oh yah, that’s me… but isn’t that true for most artists?  But the key here being… “you have given into it Donna, you are not practicing or seeking abundance, only in spirituality”.    Well that explains why I am spiritually wealthy, eh? lol  Also within these three  cards were loneliness and isolation.  Not allowing other people into my heart, or my life, particularly men.  The tears started to fall.   I have known true and passionate love.  I miss that.   I have been very lonely, but I am not willing to settle for mediocre.  I dabbled in that for a few months last year and I also paid a severe price for it.   Sadly I thought that it was my “last chance” at love.  Now I shiver when I think of that.   Everything we do, all the choices we make come with consequences both good and bad… but I believe they all come with lessons if we choose to look at them.   I know loneliness and I also know what it feels like to be lonely in a relationship… my choice over the two would be the first. 

I was pleased with my reading which ended with some Reiki at the end.  We discussed areas of potential growth, ways in which I could start to draw abundance on more levels.  We discussed the importance of breathing lol!  When I am upset I forget to breathe, I hold my breath… this is NOT a good thing.   She told me the importance of loving my chest, my new breasts, of accepting myself as I am, as I had told her of my cancer.  I believe that was why she did Reiki on me, and I was grateful.   I walked away feeling validated with the work I am doing on myself, the direction in which I am headed and the areas in which I believed I needed work in.  Of most importance to me was to ask about those whom I have loved and have passed on, and I was not disappointed in what I heard there either.

It was a nice afternoon deep out in the woods of Vermont, reminiscent of a picnic I had a few weeks ago that really made me smile.  It’s nice to smile, it’s nice to open up and allow people in, it’s nice not to isolate so much from others and to have lunch with a group of women that I really adore.   After all, I did draw the Empress card! lol  I need to allow more laughter into my life, more silliness, comedy, and just stay in today…. it is when I am happiest!

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